Ahhhhh! Ouch. More Waxing woes….

Well, I’m gearing up for Romantic Times convention in Pittsburgh in the coming weeks, and I decided I was too lazy to leave the house but sorely needed some personal grooming. Soooo….. I made some homemade depillatory crap, and let me tell you, the shit works! It’s like freaking self-torture but it works. LOL.

I did my eyebrows and my woman-stache. Let me preface this whole thing by saying, I have never ever evah waxed my upper lip before. But, hey, I’m getting older, starting to get a few dark hairs on the corners, I thought, what the hell. Right?

First I did the brows. No biggie, not my first time at the dance. It definitely had the “ow” factor, but they didn’t even hardly redden. Granted, I nearly had only one good brow by the time I finished (my past experience with waxing the brows had not been at my own hand, lol). Luckily, I managed to save enough that I don’t have Whoopie Goldberg no-brow brows. Whew. Dodged a bullet on that one.

Oy, now to the up lip. By the time I’d gotten done with the brows, I thought, hey, I’m an effin’ pro! So, I applied the homemade wax over both sides of my upper lips, put down the cloth strips, smoothed it confidently, and riiiiiippppppppeeeeed!

Let me just say, the pro in me was more than slightly embarrassed that I’d forgotten to put down the cornstarch first (over the hairy area) to keep the crap from sticking to my skin. I definitely grabbed the upper layer of epethelials with that one. Then the space between my nose and lip started welping up, getting fiery red, and bumpy. It burned people. It burned like crazy! Quickly (the nurse in my coming out ) I grabbed a piece of ice from the freezer and rubbed it over my lip for the next proceeding 15 minutes, then followed it with a benadryl (I figured if it didn’t help the swelling, it might at least knock my ass out so that I could sleep through most of the terrible pain).

Any ways, I woke up this morning, and the redness was gone. yeah! A few welpy bumps remain, but no more woman-stache. LOL. Soo, any of you crazies want to try this at home. Here’s the recipe I used:

Renee’s Wax Torture
1 cup of sugar
1/4 cup of corn syrup or honey
1/4 cup of lemon juice
Heat in the microwave for 3 minutes (in a glass pyrex bowl — it’ll be hot shit) stir until the crystals dissolve, let it cool down — seriously cool down — cut up an old shirt for cloth strips — use cotton — dust your hairy spots with cornstarch, rub the cloth over it, yank against the grain of the hair, and scream.
It’s all good. lol.
Explore posts in the same categories: fun, life, Renee George

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2 Comments on “Ahhhhh! Ouch. More Waxing woes….”

  1. I paid someone to rip the hair off my face. It hurts just as much, but at least I’m not doing it to myself. LOL!

  2. emmaraygarrett Says:

    ROFL, Michele! The recipe is pretty simple, but after talking to Renee, I think eyebrows only. And DON’T FORGET THE CORNSTARCH!

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